


The University of... Vesuvia??

by Mad_Birdy, TeklaRae



Series: The Arcana College AU [1]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: ((oh and julian is a theater minor just fyi)), Alternate Universe - College/University, Multi, Nonbinary Character, and i'm not sure what the others are doing either, i'll get to them eventually, i'm not sure what asra is doing yet but he'd major in sleep if he could i'm sure, med student!julian, poli sci!nadia, theater kid!lucio, this is just shameless self-insert crack-fluff for me and my friend, this is utter crack that i thought up after i ripped my pants on the way to class, yes i am going there with the arcana
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-03-11 12:35:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13524381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Birdy/pseuds/Mad_Birdy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeklaRae/pseuds/TeklaRae
Summary: Birch is having a terrible day. They have three classes to attend at college and then seven hours of work at a convenience store that night. And then, on top of everything... their pants rip. As they try to figure out if the rip is minor enough to sit through class with it, Asra the magician -- from their favorite phone game, The Arcana -- appears out of fucking nowhere.Shenanigans ensue.(Eventually, all six of the main romance-able characters will show up at Birch's university and they will have to figure out to get these people acclimated to modern life in the USA and get them enrolled in classes, with the help of their friend Tekla and many, many cups of tea.)





	1. Ripped Pants

**Author's Note:**

> this whole fic is going to be utter crack. there will be Target runs at ridiculous hours of the night. there will be bitching about professors and class work. there will be drunken shenanigans. it will be a college fic, but with the Arcana characters and a little magic thrown in. enjoy.

They sighed as the chapter ended, tapping back to the main screen. The music of the game played softly through their phone’s speaker, and they stared at the six characters on the screen, wishing there was more story to discover.

The Arcana was their newest obsession. So many things that they had once been interested in were now dull, the writing spoiled by creators who didn't care and the storylines boring, repetitive. This game, however, had proved itself amazing despite their initial hesitation upon hearing about it. Dating games weren't really their thing, but their friend Tekla had convinced them to give it a try.

The first thing that had stood out to them was the option to pick the pronouns the player wanted to be referred by. As a nonbinary person, they had been struggling to get people to use gender neutral pronouns and so having that option in a dating game was a relief to them. And so, they'd begun.

“Birch. They, them.”

~~~

Days later, they'd played through the story to the most recent update. They left the app running so the music would keep playing and started getting ready for class and work afterwards. They’re a full-time university student with a part-time job at a gas station near campus, so the game has been a convenient escape from the ever-present anxiety of juggling a job, school, and bills. Coming home from class or work and opening the game, just to hear the music, had become a way to lift the oppressive weight of their world from their shoulders for a few minutes.

As Birch walked across campus, they considered the essays due in a couple days and the fact that their manager hadn’t lessened their work schedule as they’d asked him to. They sighed at the thought of having to work another seven hour shift, getting home around ten thirty, and then trying to start the two four-page papers. A step up towards a door resulted in a loud ripping sound, and they looked down with wide eyes to see that their pants had ripped right up the inner thigh. “Shit,” they muttered. Sighting a nearby bathroom, they rushed inside and assessed the damage. There was no way they’d make it through the day with the rip; they’d have to skip French to run home and change.

They headed back for the parking lot, cursing their bad luck as they went and hoping that no one would notice the large rip as they walked. A hand landed on their shoulder and they startled, turning quickly as the stranger said, “Birch?”

Their mouth dropped open in utter shock, torn pants forgotten as they stared. It was… Asra? The magician from The Arcana? What the fuck?

Asra chuckled, and they realized they’d said the last sentence out loud. “Really. I don’t quite understand how I’m here either, but. Here I am.”

“No.” The word was hesitant. “No, this can’t be. I’m just… just hallucinating.” That had to be it, right? Their anxiety had finally gotten the best of them and now their vivid imagination was making them hallucinate that the character who brought them the most comfort was here. In the real world. On campus. Just past the international students’ dorms.

“Birch… it’s really me.” Asra caught their hand in both of his own, rubbing small circles on the back of it with his thumbs. “See? You can feel my touch, can’t you?”

Doubt still filled them. “Trust me, my imagination is pretty… clear and accurate sometimes. I can’t… This just doesn’t make sense.”

“Let me try something else…” He leaned in, eyes flickering down to their lips, and they knew what he was going to do.

“No, Asra.” They regretted the hurt on his face, but they knew that even that… well, they’d imagined doing this and more with him before, in great detail. They wouldn’t put it past themself to be able to hallucinate it as well. “There’s only one thing that will prove to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re real. Come with me.” They turned the hand that was in his grip and tugged him along the sidewalk, ripped pants momentarily forgotten.

“Um, Birch?” They looked back at Asra, frowning when they noticed he was biting his bottom lip in an effort to control laughter. “Uh, your pants are ripped…”

“Fuck! I forgot, oh my god.” They stopped walking so suddenly that he nearly collided with them, and he looked almost like a lost puppy when they let go of his hand. Tugging their hoodie off, they tied the sleeves around their waist so that it would hang and hide the rip. “There. Fixed, for now.” They took his hand again, a blush flooding their cheeks as he smiled brightly at their fingers entwining with his. “You’re going to be the death of me,” they muttered as they lead him across campus.

Asra looked around at his surroundings curiously, and Birch took the opportunity to pull out their phone and send a text to Tekla. _I’m heading back home. We have to discuss something. This will require real pants._

A few seconds later, a text dinged through to their phone. _Fuck you. I just made a cup of tea and got comfy on the couch._ They chuckled softly to themself, waiting for the inevitable second message… _Do you want some tea too?_

They replied in the affirmative and tucked their phone back in their pocket, feeling Asra’s gaze on their face as he asked, “What did you just do?”

“I sent a text to a friend,” they said, looking up at him. Their lips twitched with amusement when he just looked puzzled.

“You… sent a piece of paper with writing on it… through a small glass and metal device… to someone? How?”

They shook their head. “No, I sent an electronic message through something called a cell phone and my friend received the message on their own… phone…” They trailed off as they registered the confusion and awe on his face. “Look, you don’t have to understand exactly how it works. Most of us don’t, it’s just a handy tool. There are people whose job it is to know how phones work, and when our phones break we pay them to fix it. But I can’t really explain more than that it’s some kind of electronic process. Which is also something you have no concept of, of course.”

“I thought I would be the one dealing out confusion in spades,” Asra said with a rueful chuckle. “But apparently this world is going to be very much more confusing than the one I’m from.”

Birch chuckled, turning back to look up at the apartment complex they were approaching. “You keep talking like you’re not a hallucination. It’s making me hope you’re not.” They missed the way Asra huffed and rolled his eyes a little.

As they approached the door, Birch let go of Asra’s hand and pulled out their keys, unlocking the door and stepping inside. “Tekla? I hope you put real pants on. We have a guest…”

A young woman stepped out of the kitchen, one hand on her hip. “A guest?? You’re lucky I decided to put pants on, then. I was actually debating it for a sec.” She walked towards Birch, cup of tea in hand. “Also, can’t believe you invited someone over without telling me? Do they want some tea too?” Asra picked that moment to step inside. Tekla froze in her tracks, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

Birch rushed forward to take the cup as Asra said, “I would appreciate a cup of tea, thanks. Do you have oolong?”

Tekla stared at him, then looked at Birch, then back to Asra. “Hold on.” She raised her hand, slowly pointing at Asra. “You’re… Asra.”

“Yes.” He nodded, smiling a little.

“And you’re… actually here. In our world. Not in… the game?”

“Apparently he is,” Birch said, setting the tea down on the coffee table. “I thought I was hallucinating, you know? But since you can see him too, then either he’s real…”

“Or we’re both fucking crazy.” The two of them exchanged a glance, then looked at Asra.

“I promise, I’m as real as it gets,” the magician said. “I’m fairly certain my magic will still work here, to a certain extent. And I can interact with the two of you and everything else in this world just like I could in my own.”

“Speaking of.” Birch put their hands on their hips. “How did you get here from your world in the first place?” Tekla moved back into the kitchen, grabbing another mug from the cupboard as Asra began to explain.

“I’m sure you both know the theory that parallel universes exist, besides the one you reside in. Theory is actually fact, in this case, and something drew me here. It used the game that you play as a doorway, though I can’t say why I was brought here. That’s still a mystery.” He took a seat on the couch and Birch leaned against the back of the couch, processing.

“I say we just. Go with it.” Tekla said from the kitchen as she poured boiling water over a bag of passionfruit tea. The two of them looked at her, and she shrugged. “I mean, where’s the sense in stressing over something that we can’t do anything about?” She brought the tea out and handed it to Asra. “You might as well enjoy your time here, and I know Birch will definitely enjoy your time here too.” She smirked at her friend as they blushed and stuck their tongue out at her. Asra chuckled and sipped his tea, and she looked back to him. “I don’t have oolong, sorry, but I thought you might like some passionfruit tea.”

“This is perfect,” he said, smiling up at her. “And you’re right. There’s no way for sure of knowing how I got here, or how I’m supposed to get back, if I’m supposed to get back. So I’ll make the most of it.”

Birch smiled. “I like the sound of that.”

They came around the couch to sit down, and just as they’d gotten comfortable, tea in hand, Asra said, “Birch… you still haven’t done anything about your ripped pants.”

“Oh my FUCKING god!!”


	2. Target Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Later that day, a certain plague doctor shows up outside Birch and Tekla's apartment. The two friends realize the boys are gonna need new clothes so that they don't stand out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eventually this crack-fluff piece of shit fic will have a plot, but right now, it's just getting the baes acclimated to our world

Birch looked at the tall man with flaming red hair and dramatic black clothes, sighed, and then pulled out their phone. _Tekla. Real pants._ Looking back to him, they smirked. “Julian. Somehow I knew you'd be next.”

The infamous plague doctor had yet to stop slowly spinning, taking in the surrounding area. “Where…” He looked at them. “Birch? I can tell it's you but… you look… different.”

They shrugged. “I don't have an explanation for that yet. But we need to get you inside. You're very conspicuous in that outfit.” They grabbed his hand and dragged him up to the apartment they shared with Tekla.

Birch practically pushed Julian through the front door, calling out, “It's me! Look who else…” They cut off when they saw Tekla sitting on the couch in a t-shirt and her underwear. “Oh. My. God,” they groaned. Julian had gone bright red and was staring at Tekla, who was flushed but proudly held her head up as she attempted to casually reach for a blanket to cover her lap. “Tek, I told you real pants!!”

“I didn’t see the text!” she protested, crossing her arms after getting the blanket situated. “I was watching Netflix.”

“Well, then I hope you can live with the fact that Julian fucking Devorak’s first impression of you is a person who lounges around in their underwear all day.”

Julian finally spoke up. “I'm confused. Real pants?”

Tekla had the sense to look a little sheepish as she explained, “Real pants are anything that isn't workout gear, pajamas, or underwear.”

Julian absorbed this. “So… a skirt can be real pants?”

“Yes.” She dared him to challenge this idea with her eyes, but he just nodded.

There was a loud crash. “The hell…” Birch muttered, taking a step towards their bedroom.

The door swung open and a head of white, floofy curls peeked out. “Sorry,” Asra said, rubbing sleep from his eyes still. “I tripped over… something… I think it was a cord of some kind.” He yawned hugely, and then looked around at the three standing in the living room, blinking. Finally, Julian’s presence registered. “Oh! Ilya! When did you get here?”

“A few minutes ago,” Julian said, a dry smile twisting his lips. “Though I’d hazard a guess that you’ve been here longer.”

Asra nodded. “I arrived this morning. Birch and Tekla had class, so I just took a nap.” He looked at Birch then. “I woke up and came out here and Tek said you were at work, so I went back to sleep.”

They raised an eyebrow. “Have you eaten at all today?”

He looked thoughtful for a moment. “No, I think the last time I ate was a couple hours before I appeared here.”

“I also haven’t eaten anything in a while,” Julian interjected.

Tek got a mischievous look in her eyes. “Why don’t we all go out to dinner?”

Birch crossed their arms, giving her a Look™. “That is not allowed until they have real clothes. And until you are wearing real pants.”

A sigh escaped her, though the mischief was still in her eyes as she rolled them. “Fine. Target run, then.”

“I guess that will have to do.” They look at the magician and the plague doctor, worrying their lip with their teeth. “It’s late enough that there shouldn’t be too many people who notice your outfits.”

Tekla stood then, folding the blanket onto the couch arm before walking back to her room for real pants. “If anyone asks, we could always say that they’re in a theater production.”

“That would work, yeah.” Birch caught Julian watching Tek and he blushed furiously, looking anywhere else in the room. They rolled their eyes and suppressed a snort of amusement.

~~~

Julian and Asra stood next to each other, faces a mix of fascination, confusion, and maybe even fear, and tried to understand the concept of a car. “If it helps,” Tekla said, doing her best to keep a straight face. “Think of it just like a carriage, but the horses are invisible.”

Birch was having a much harder time keeping a straight face, and ended up snort-giggling ridiculously as they pushed the men towards the car. “Just get in, you’ll be fine. Tek’s a great driver, nothing’s going to happen to you.” Asra shrugged, climbing into the back seat as Julian warily took the front seat. Realization dawned on Birch’s face and they turned to their friend. “Tek… Tek, you’re gonna…” They smirked and tried not to laugh. “You’re gonna have to buckle Julian in… he doesn’t know how!” At the look on her face, they dissolved into giggles again before sliding into the back with Asra.

Asra had immediately noticed the seat belts and was messing with one, pulling it out and then letting it draw back quickly. “Birch,” he looked at them, eyes wide. “What are these for?”

“They’re called seat belts.” they said, scooting next to him. “You pull it over your body and buckle it down to keep you safe while you ride in a car.” They showed him, taking the belt from his hand and pulling it across his chest and lap to push the buckle into place. “Like that. And then you just press this button to release it when you’ve gotten to your destination and want to get out of the car.” They pressed the button, smiling up at him, and then buckled it back.

“So these are necessary to riding in a car?”

“Yeah. Most places have laws about it, actually. Cars can move at pretty fast speeds and that means that when an accident happens, they can be deadly. Seat belts lower the risk of serious injury and death in the event of a car crash.”

Asra blinked. “I see.” He leaned back in the seat as Birch buckled themself in and then reached for their hand, entwining his fingers with theirs. “You’re sure this is safe?”

They smiled softly, squeezing his hand. “Yeah. Like I said, Tek is good at driving and it’s a short ride to Target anyway. There’s nothing to worry about.” They barely registered Julian and Tekla having a similar conversation in the front seat, lost as they were in the violet color of Asra’s eyes.

As soon as the car started moving, though, Asra looked out the window in curiosity, and Birch looked forward to see Tekla smirking at them in the rearview mirror. They stuck their tongue out at her and sat back for the ride to Target.

~~~

Tekla grabbed a cart as the group walked into Target, leading the way to the men’s clothing section. Birch watched in amusement as Julian and Asra followed her, gawking at everything they passed. The doctor’s face blushed five shades of red as they passed the women’s undergarments, and they almost lost Asra when he stopped in front of a mannequin wearing a floral dress. Tekla looked back and nodded when Birch motioned for her and Julian to go ahead.

“Did you see something you like, Asra?” Birch asked.

He looked down at them and motioned to the mannequin. “Why is this labelled as women’s wear?”

“Uh, because it’s a dress. And our society still has very binary views of gender and gender presentation.”

“Oh.” They could see the disappointment clear on his face.

“That doesn’t mean, though, that you can’t get this if you want it.” He looked down at them, eyes wide. “Just because the society still has a firm grip on their notions of binarism doesn’t mean that all of us conform. There’s plenty of people, like me, who don’t fit traditional categories and buy whatever the hell we like. So if you want this dress, Asra, we’ll get you this dress.” His face lit up with a smile then, and he leaned down to kiss Birch right on the lips. An undignified squeak left their lips and they gasped as he pulled away again.

“Thank you, Birch.” Before they could get their wits together to reply, he’d run off into the dresses and skirts section.

Some time later, Tekla and Julian returned with the cart; it held dark-washed jeans, button-down shirts (mostly white and red, though she had talked him into a purple one), long-sleeved tees, a few vests, two pairs of Oxfords, a leather jacket, and various packages of underwear. “Birch? Asra?” Tek called out, wondering where the two could have run off to.

“We're here,” Birch said as they walked up from the direction of the men's clothes, their arms full of clothes. Asra was similarly burdened.

“I thought we left you in the women's section?”

“You did.” They dumped their load into the cart and Tekla’s eyebrows rose as she took in the various pastel-colored dresses, t-shirts, and cardigans. They held up a pair of ripped baby-blue jeans and continued, “But then I explained the patriarchy pockets thing and Asra insisted we go to the men’s section to get skinny jeans.” Asra nodded along with their explanation, placing no less than four different pairs of Docs in the cart and gently laying a long, grey coat over the top.

Julian sighed, crossing his arms as he looked at the now-full cart. “Could you explain the ‘patriarchy pockets’ to me as well?” He used air quotes around the words, confusion clear on his face.

“Apparently,” Asra said, beating Birch and Tekla to it. “Fashion progressed in such a way that it became tradition for men to have multiple, large pockets in almost all of their clothes and for women to have to carry one, very small pocket in the form of a separate purse.” Julian’s brow furrowed but he nodded for Asra to continue. “So now, men’s pants still have nice big pockets, which can fit all sorts of things. I could probably keep a whole spell’s worth of ingredients in just one of these.” He held up a pair of the skinny jeans to demonstrate. “But women’s pants have tiny, almost non-existent pockets. Most of them are, actually, for decoration only.” He grabbed a nearby pair of women’s slacks to show Julian, who made a face of contempt.

“That’s ridiculous,” Julian said, looking at Tekla and Birch. “Women have to carry just as much as men, I’m sure.”

“Arguably more,” Birch replied, taking control of the cart and starting to move the group towards the groceries.

“Wallets, phones, coins, keys,” Tekla said, counting off on her fingers. “Hair ties and pins, lip stick or lip gloss. Some girls like to keep all their makeup essentials with them when they go out, so then you’d also have foundation and mascara and probably eyeliner or shadow. Tissues, receipts, lotion, headphones, gum or mints.”

“Basically, some women carry a shit-ton of stuff and forcing them to use purses for all of that when men can carry the same stuff in their pants and coat pockets is a bunch of bullshit.”

“I agree,” Asra said seriously.

Birch led the group to get groceries. It went about as well as one could hope, given that two of the members were from a different world. “Frozen… pasta?” Julian said incredulously, holding up a family size box of lasagna.

“It's for convenience,” Tekla explained as Birch took the box and put it back in the freezer.

“Ilya!” Asra's voice floated to them from the dairy section. “Look at all this milk!” They caught up to him. “How does it not go bad? Surely they don't sell this much every day?”

“Science.” That was all the answer that Birch gave as they grabbed a gallon of milk and then went back a few doors to get a tub of chocolate ice cream.

Eventually they made it to the checkout line and Tekla said, “Okay, so. How are we paying for this?”

Asra pulled a bag of clinking coins out of his belt, just as Julian did the same. “I hate to burst your bubbles,” Birch said. “But I can guarantee that money won't work here.” The magician just held up one finger, a sly smile playing on his lips, and then held the bags of coins and closed his eyes. A few seconds passed. When he opened his eyes again, he handed the bags to Tekla and Birch. They opened the bags and then softly muttered “what the fuck” in unison.

The bags were now filled with bills, mostly twenties and tens, though there were larger and smaller mixed in. “What's ours is yours,” Asra said.

Julian nodded in agreement. “It's only fair, since we're basically invading your home.”

Birch and Tekla just stared at the money for a moment longer, then Birch said, “How are we supposed to report this in our taxes??”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to hit kudos if you enjoyed the story!!! if you kudos'd for the first chapter, you could comment "kudos" for this one so I know you're still enjoying it! also hit up the comments if you have a suggestion for a college predicament you'd like to see them get into!


	3. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asra does a reading to get to some answers, we watch a Disney movie, introduce the boys to TV dinners, and things get a little steamy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me forever to write, but thanks to Tekla, it's finally done

Bacon sizzled on the stove. That was the first thing Birch’s mind registered as they woke, snuggled deep under their comforter. The smells and sounds of cooking breakfast drifted to them and drew them out of bed, though they kept the comforter wrapped around their shoulders, ignoring the way it dragged on the floor. A yawn left their mouth as they walked into the living room and leaned against the back of the couch. “Morning,” they said as a general greeting to the three other people in the near vicinity.

Tekla smiled from the kitchen, eyes a little glazed over with sleep still as she flipped the bacon. “Morning sweetie, breakfast will be ready in a bit.”

Asra and Julian looked up from their intense examination of the television remote.

“That’s adorable,” Julian said with a shit-eating grin.

“What is?” Birch asked, tilting their head.

“Your bedhead is just as floofy as Asra’s.”

A blush spread over their cheeks and they reached out to ruffle his hair. “Yeah, well, yours isn’t any better, mister.”

Asra chuckled as he watched the two of them. “I don’t think anyone in this apartment can claim to not have floofy bed head.” He shot a glance over at Tekla in the kitchen, who just flipped him off as she stirred scrambled eggs.

A full-bodied laugh sent Birch to the floor, where they dissolved into hiccup-giggles (they were always silly when they were still tired after waking up). “Are you okay?” Julian asked, reaching down to help them back up and sit them on the couch.

“I’m fine, just need some breakfast to wake up.” They sighed, snuggling down into the couch between the two men. “Thank the gods it’s Saturday. No obligations.”

“Um, actually,” Asra said, ignoring the death glare they sent his way. “I was thinking we should do a little investigation and see if we can figure out why we’re here.”

“Everybody’s trying to figure out why they’re here, Asra,” Birch said with a straight face. “There’s no use trying to find a purpose in life.” The magician raised his eyebrows at them, and they had a staring contest before they huffed and rolled their eyes.

“As I was saying, I think a little magic and some pointed questions for the cards will be able to help us riddle out why Julian and I got transported here and whether or not we should try to get back.”

Tekla frowned as she walked out, food in hand. “Would you really leave, if the cards said you could go back?”

Julian looked up at her, then at Asra and Birch, and then back to her. “I wouldn’t go back. I think, for some reason, we’re meant to be here.” He smirked, trying to lighten the mood. “And I’m not wanted for murder here, anyway.”

Birch noticed her friend’s shoulders relax as Julian said this, and got up to take some food on a plate from her, squeezing her hand surreptitiously as they did so. “This can all wait ‘til after breakfast.” They sat at the table and the other three joined them.

~~~

Asra sat cross-legged on the floor, Birch on his right, Julian on his left, and Tekla across from him. His deck was right in front of him, and a small metal plate with a burning incense cone sat in front of Tekla. As the others watched, the magician shuffled the deck; once, twice, three times. Then he set the pile down in front of him, asked, “How did we get here?” and flipped over the top card. XVIII, The Moon. Laying that card down he drew another and asked, “Can we go home?” XIII, Death. Julian scoffed but kept his mouth shut when the three of them shot him a glance. Asra laid it below the first card and then asked, “Why are we here?” as he drew the third card. XX, Judgement. He crossed it over Death as silence fell.

Tekla pursed her lips nervously. “Well?”

Asra studied the cards before answering. “Unfortunately,” he began, gesturing to the first card, “the mystery of how we got here seems to remain unsolved. There’s some force outside the normal constraints of our realm that has brought us here, but there’s no way to know exactly what it is. As for going home…”

Birch and Tek held their breath.

“No, it doesn’t seem as though that’s possible. Our being here is final, our time in our world at an end. This is a change that we cannot escape or reverse, merely accept.” Asra tapped the Judgement and Death cards. “This crossing of Death and Judgement seem to suggest that the change is good. A chance to start over and create better futures for ourselves than the ones we faced in Vesuvia.” Asra looked at Birch. “Ones with new people.”

Tekla closed her eyes and let out a sigh of relief, her hand finding Julian’s and catching him off guard. A blush flooded his cheeks but he squeezed her hand reassuringly without a second thought. Asra packed up the deck, but as he moved to put it back in its bag, a single card fell from the deck and fluttered to the ground. VI, The Lovers.

There was silence as all four just stared at the cards. Then Birch said, “Subtle.” Asra laughed and scooped the card back up, packing them all away securely.

~~~

Julian crossed his arms, confusion and apprehension settling in a line between his brows as he regarded the tray of food spinning slowly in the microwave. “Explain to me again what this machine is?” he asked Birch, who was venting the plastic covers of three more frozen dinners.

“It’s called a microwave,” they patiently explained (for the third time). “Basically, it’s like a tiny sun inside that heats up the molecules of the food individually and quickly. Meals like this,” they gestured to the tray of meatloaf and mashed potatoes, “are made for people who don’t have a lot of time to cook their own meals, or who don’t know how to cook. Tekla and I get them because it’s convenient for busy or lazy days.”

“Hm. So I’m assuming this is a, uh, lazy day, then?”

“Saturdays generally are. A day to rest and relax, maybe do some homework if you feel like it. I think Tek wanted to show you some movies today, though.”

For half a moment, Julian looked as though he was going to ask what a movie was, but then shook his head and leaned over the kitchen bar. “Asra,” he said. “Did you know that the little metal box in here has a small sun in it that heats up pre-made frozen food?”

“Ilya, you know I can hear everything that is said in the kitchen, right?” Asra looked up from the graphic novel he’d taken from Birch’s bookshelves. “It’s not even really a separate room. But yes, that sounds fascinating.”

Tekla walked out of her room with a handful of DVDs, going over to the TV and getting the first one set up. “While we eat, I’m going to introduce you to the wonders of Disney.”

“What is Disney?” Asra asked as he set _Sandman: Volume I_ down on the coffee table.  
.  
“They’re a movie studio, mostly known for the animated films they’ve made, been around for about a century or so. They started,” Tekla held up _Snow White_ , “with this one, and so are we. You’ve got to start somewhere and the beginning is as good a place as any.” She didn’t look at anyone as she started up the film, making it look as if she were talking to herself more than anyone else. “There’s better ones, but you have to see where it all started, really get the idea of where it all began before you delve further into it.” Tekla paused. “I mean, if you want to delve deeper that is. Shit. Should I have started with…” She was just muttering to herself at this point. “I should’ve… fuck.”

Birch and Julian brought the trays of food into the living room and set them on the table before Birch laid their hand on Tekla’s shoulder. “ _Snow White_ is fine, Tek. They’ll enjoy it.”

The four of them settled on the couch (somehow Birch, the smallest of them all, ended up in the middle, with both Julian and Tek’s feet in their lap and Asra leaning into their side) and Tekla hit play on the remote. As the opening Disney theme and castle animation played, Julian muttered, “I still can’t believe moving pictures like this are _normal_ here.”

 _Snow White_ played, only interrupted occasionally by commentary from Tekla or Birch. As the credits rolled, the two college students looked at the men. “Thoughts?” Tek asked hesitantly.

“I… really enjoyed it!” Julian said, looking at her with a large smile. “The music was quaint, and the story was fascinating. You said these were based on common tales told to children?”

“Some of them are, yeah. A pair of brothers wrote a book a long time ago and it’s still pretty popular.”

“Can I read this book?”

“Sure,” Birch said. “I have a copy you can borrow.”

“Just a warning though, the non-Disney version are typically a bit more graphic,” Tekla added.

Birch looked at Asra. “What did you think, Asra?”

“It was nice,” the magician said, arching his back to stretch like a cat as Birch stood. “But there was too much singing for my tastes.”

Julian and Tekla gasped almost simultaneously. “Too much singing?” The looks on their faces suggested that that was a concept that didn’t exist in their world. Birch laughed as they disappeared into their room.

Asra chuckled. “I know, I know, blasphemy.” He stood, gathering up the empty food trays to dispose of them and put the silverware in the dishwasher. “You always did have a soft spot for musicals, Ilya.”

“Well of course,” the doctor said, shrugging. “Singing, dancing, what’s not to love?” Tek looked at him with delight and then grabbed her laptop to show him more musicals.

Birch re-emerged from their room, book of Grimms’ fairy tales in hand, and smiled when they saw Tek and Julian bonding over _Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812_. “I’ll just leave this here for you, Julian,” they said, placing the book on the coffee table. Julian glanced up to send them a smile and a nod of thanks, then looked back at the computer screen.

Arms snaked around Birch’s waist as Asra rested his chin on their shoulder. “Is it time for a nap?” they asked, turning their head to smirk at him. He hummed and nodded in agreement, nudging them towards their room and the bed waiting inside.

~~~

Sleeping next to Asra was proving to be the best thing that Birch had ever experienced. His weight was warm and solid against their back, comforting in a way they hadn’t felt before. They found that they fell asleep easier when resting in his arms, the noise of their mind quieting to a muted background track as the latent magic in his aura soothed them. Even just when dozing together in the warmth of the afternoon sun streaming through the window, their mind remained calm where once it would have sped from thought to thought, chasing dreams and wisps of story ideas.

Time ceased to exist in the bubble that was the sheer comfort of their shared bed.

At some point, though, Asra stirred, yawning a little before nuzzling the short hair at the back of Birch’s head. He smiled as a small shiver of pleasure ran down their spine, and leaned away slightly to let them roll over to look at him with sleepy eyes.

“Awake already?” they asked, voice low and rough with drowsiness.

“Mm,” he said, rolling onto his back as they pushed up on an arm and stretched. “It’s been hard sleeping next to you ever since I arrived. It’s difficult to believe that we’re in a different world where we don’t have to worry about finding a murderer or anything like that.”

Birch nodded. “I get that. My sleep has been more peaceful since you’ve been here, but I keep waking up expecting it to be a dream. I never would have believed this was possible if you’d asked me a week ago.” They finished stretching and laid down again, resting their head on his chest to listen to his heartbeat. “But hell if I’m not gonna make the most of it.”

“That’s what kept waking me up. I couldn’t stop thinking, ‘What if I wake up and I’m back in my own world?’ I’m afraid of wasting time with you here, since we’re apart so often where I’m from.”

They traced patterns on the skin of his chest, admiring the contrast between the tone of their skin and his. “It’ll be okay. I think you’re here for good, if the cards are to be trusted. So, don’t worry, hm?” Birch looked up to smile at Asra and their breath caught in their throat when they saw the way he was looking at them.

“I’m not worried any more,” he said softly, his hand coming up to cup their jaw. His thumb rubbed over their cheek and he looked as though he was memorizing Birch’s face. “Birch…”

Cutting him off, they leaned up and kissed him gently. He returned it easily, his lips warm and soft against theirs. The kiss quickly grew heated, all tongues and teeth and lips, and sooner than they realized, Birch was fully on top of Asra, thighs straddling his waist. They had to come up for air eventually; chests heaving, they looked at each other with clear want and longing.

“Asra!” The door burst open, showing Julian at the threshold, and Birch groaned, dropping their head into the crook of Asra’s neck as the plague doctor continued, seemingly oblivious. “You will not believe the kind of medical advances they’ve made in this world!”

“Ilya, I swear on the tarot…” Asra started, and that’s when Julian finally noticed the way the two of them were positioned on the bed.

“Oh, I’m _so sorry_ , I didn’t think…” The doctor’s face got progressively redder as he stuttered over his apology. “I’m sorry, I’ll go.” He hurried back out the door, shutting it behind him.

“Later, we’ll have a talk about interrupting people when they’re napping!” Asra shouted after him.

Birch laughed, all of their own embarrassment about the situation fading in the face of Julian’s shame. “I mean, to be fair, he thought we were just sleeping,” they said, lips moving against Asra’s neck.

“That’d still have been rude, though.” Asra sighed softly, hands sliding down their sides. “Either he’s interrupting a nap, which is rude, or he’s interrupting a dalliance, which is rude _and_ embarrassing.”

A snort from the college student ruffled the magician’s hair. “He just wanted to tell you about the wonders of medical science.”

“I’ve got a different kind of wonder right in front of me that I’m more concerned with.” Asra smirked at the red coloring their cheeks and leaned in for another heated kiss.

~~~

Later that night, Tekla and Julian lay in bed, legs tangled together, his head on her chest. His weight comforted the anxiety curling in her stomach; she ran her fingers lazily through his hair.

“Julian,” she said suddenly.

“Yes?”

“If you both can’t get back, do you think anyone else can get through?”

“I don’t know. I’m a doctor, not a psychic,” he chuckled. “Why?”

Tek grew quiet.

“Tekla?”

“Never mind.”

“What?”

“It’s just...I just have this feeling is all.”

“What kind of feeling?”

“That whatever brought you guys here isn’t done? I don’t know how to explain it, but I just feel like you both aren’t the last to cross over.”

Julian groaned. “Oh no. I hope you’re wrong. I don’t think this apartment can hold many more people.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter, we get all the rest of the love interests!!

**Author's Note:**

> remember: kudos means "glory in war" so like. hit the kudos button if you think this fic would help you survive a war. leave a comment if you have a specific idea about how this fic would help you survive a war. (or if, ya know, you have a particular college shenanigan you'd like to see being dealt with by the characters)


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